In 2025, it feels like the demands on our time will only increase. Whether it's balancing work, caring for children, managing personal goals, or navigating the pressures of technology and social media, couples often find themselves feeling disconnected and distant. Intimacy—both emotional and physical—can easily slip down the list of priorities when life gets hectic. However, building and maintaining intimacy in your relationship doesn't require grand gestures or significant time commitments. With the right mindset and small, consistent actions, it’s possible to stay deeply connected, even during your busiest days.

If your new year resolution is to be more intentional in your relationship, here are some effective therapy-backed tips for building intimacy:

1. Quality > Quantity Time

Scheduling time together might sound counterintuitive to romance, but it’s one of the best ways to ensure that intimacy doesn't fall by the wayside. Couples therapists often recommend creating regular "date nights" or "intimacy rituals," whether it's a weekly dinner date, a 20-minute walk after work, or a nightly routine of connecting before bed.

Tip: Set aside 15-30 minutes each day to talk about or do something that matters to both of you. Watching your favorite show after the kids sleep counts!

2. Prioritize Emotional Intimacy with Active Listening

Emotional intimacy is the foundation of physical intimacy. It’s hard to feel close to someone if you don’t feel truly heard. Active listening—where one partner speaks and the other listens without interrupting creates a safe space for both people to express their feelings and vulnerabilities. In busy lives, emotional connection often gets overshadowed by logistical concerns, but taking the time to genuinely listen to each other can reignite feelings of closeness.

Tip: Put away distractions (phones, TV, etc.) and focus entirely on what your partner is saying. Reflect back what you hear them saying to validate their feelings. For example, “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed at work; I can understand how that would be stressful.” A key aspect of this exchange is to listen, not react. Watch out for when you feel defensive!

3. Technology is a Boon

Technology doesn’t just have to be a distraction always,it can be a tool to deepen connection. Sending thoughtful texts, voice notes, or quick video calls during the day can make you feel connected and remind each other that you’re thinking about one another.

Tip: Try sending a text each day that’s not about tasks or logistics, but something personal like "Today’s lunch reminded me of that yummy meal we ate on our date last weekend!"

4. Date Each Other Forever

Couples often grow apart when they fall into routine and no longer challenge each other with new experiences. Therapy encourages couples to keep the relationship dynamic by exploring new hobbies, trying new activities, or even learning something together. This helps rekindle that "honeymoon phase" excitement by making your time together feel fresh and exciting.

Tip: Look for activities that are easy to fit into your busy schedule like cooking a new recipe together or taking a class can help you bond over shared experiences and create new memories.

5. Physical Touch Beyond the Bedroom

Physical intimacy isn’t just about sex, it’s about the small, everyday touches that reinforce feelings of love and connection. Hugs, kisses, holding hands, or simply sitting close to each other can create a sense of physical closeness and comfort. In therapy, couples are encouraged to make physical touch a regular part of their connection, even during hectic times.

Tip: Make a habit of incorporating physical touch throughout the day. A kiss when you leave for work, a hand on the back as you pass each other in the kitchen, or simply cuddling on the couch for a few minutes each night. They reinforce your bond without requiring hours of time or planning.

6. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Relationship

It can be easy for work, social media, or other commitments to encroach on your relationship. Setting boundaries around how much time and energy you devote to external pressures is crucial to protecting intimacy. Therapy often emphasizes the importance of creating healthy boundaries to ensure that your relationship remains a priority.

Tip: Set specific "no phone" times during meals, after work, or before bed. If you both work from home or have flexible schedules, try to designate certain hours as “couple time,” where you’re not distracted.

7. Communicate About Sex and Desire

Intimacy can often take a backseat when couples are overwhelmed by their daily routines, but therapy encourages open communication about physical intimacy, including sexual desires, needs, and any concerns. Creating a safe and non-judgmental space for these conversations can reignite the passion in a relationship and ensure that both partners feel valued and fulfilled.

Tip: Have an open discussion with your partner about your physical needs, fantasies, and any changes in your desire for intimacy. It’s important to recognize that, as we age or face different life circumstances, our needs may evolve. Be proactive about having these conversations to maintain a satisfying and connected relationship. It may be awkward at first but it gets more natural with practice!

Final Thoughts

Building and maintaining intimacy as a busy couple in 2025 isn’t about finding large blocks of time or making dramatic changes. Remember, intimacy is a dynamic, evolving process. By staying intentional and mindful of each other’s needs, even in the midst of a busy schedule, you’ll nurture a fulfilling bond that can withstand the challenges of modern life.

Building Intimacy as a Busy Couple in 2025