The Calm after Storm in Therapy: What to Talk About When You Feel Okay?

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Nov 5

Many people schedule their first therapy session when life feels overwhelming—perhaps after a particularly stressful week at work or during a family conflict. In those moments, the primary goal of therapy often centers around reducing distress and finding relief. But what happens when the storm passes and you start to feel better?

Imagine this: you’ve been attending weekly sessions, and gradually, things begin to shift. The argument with your loved one has cooled, or you’ve learned effective coping skills that help you navigate stressors that once felt insurmountable.

You find yourself asking, “What do I talk about now that I feel okay?”

Navigating the Transition

This is certainly a confusing space to be in. Once your symptoms of depression or anxiety subside, you may feel calmer and have more clarity about things happening to and around you. A bit of distance from just processing ongoing distress can help clients dig deeper. With a bit of distance from the initial distress, you might find that you’re ready to explore deeper issues—things that were too hot to touch when anxiety was at its peak. This moment when you feel a little more at peace opens up avenues to explore. After all, therapy is about making us more fireproof, not just putting out fires!

What Can You Explore?

As a therapist, I often notice when clients feel “better” compared to when they first come in. It’s a significant shift and the focus is no longer solely on symptom relief, so there’s plenty to explore especially after we are out of literal or metaphorical danger.

More often than not, I have questions and ideas about what we can explore and work on. However, I much prefer that clients direct how they want their therapy to change and evolve with them.

Here are some topics you can bring up if you're unsure what to discuss:

Review: how did you overcome hardship and what worked?
Build on Strengths and Coping Skills: how can it work more in your favor?
Values and Goals: what is important to you now?
Changing Relationships: how are interactions with friends, family, spouse/partners?
Relationship with Yourself: how has your self-perception changed after your struggles?
Hobbies and Interests: how do you want to develop them?
Prepping for Future Events: do other things make you anxious, like holiday stress?
Pets: how have they exponentially bettered your life?

Embracing the “Okay” Phase

It’s essential to recognize that feeling just “okay” is a valid state to explore in therapy. You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from this space. Learning to be okay/happy is as important as learning why you feel bad. Have you told your therapist, “I was in a horrible place when I started seeing you, and now I feel okay”? Sharing this can open up valuable conversations.

If you find yourself in this place, I want to reassure you: that therapy is a space for you, and you can discuss whatever feels relevant.